October 19th - Giving in to what I don't have control of

For the last several days, it has been quite apparent that my binge eating has been back and with quite the veracity.  Being the nurse that I am with the caring mindset of always wanting to fix whatever is wrong, it has been driving me absolutely mad trying to figure out why it is back and so strong.  As the weekend kept going on, even while at clinical, my feelings of depression just kept growing and growing.  It has come to a point today that I have decided that in order to heal I need to follow the prayer that I say to myself every night before I go to bed.

What I have decided to submit to today is that I obviously have no control over this eating disorder as much as I thought I did before.  I need to trust in the process and look to help and support of my recovery team, family, and friends to rebuild my foundation and live my life that is not bound by the torture and jail of my mind that is causing me to turn to food to cope with my emotions.

I will share one video that I discovered this morning.  I originally saw this artist as a visiting artist at college where she performed for the students.  Even then I though she was an amazing performer.  However, seeing this video absolutely struck a nerve and helped me come to the thoughts I had to write the blog post today.  Shannon Curtis is such an amazing artist traveling the country spreading the same message of tolerance and awareness that those with mental illness are not alone, we have all been through hardships, and all need to help one another.  Again, thank you all for your support through this difficult stretch and hope to make the turn towards positive days ahead.

Shannon Curtis - I Know I Know